


These Marks of Mine

by The_5th_Archangel_Is_The_7th_Avenger



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adoptive anyway, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Feels, Coulson's Alive, F/F, F/M, Hydra (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Loki knew his heritage all along, Loki was raised by Frigga so is nice and kind and things, M/M, Multi, Original Character(s), Parent Tony Stark, Sam Wilson is So Done, Sort of side fix-it for Loki's storyline, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, The Bus to the rescue, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:53:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22612849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_5th_Archangel_Is_The_7th_Avenger/pseuds/The_5th_Archangel_Is_The_7th_Avenger
Summary: Zayla was born with two soulmates.Both have no idea that their marks sit on the inside of her wrist.Neither have her mark on their bodies.A mission goes wrong, and one of her soulmates is fatally injured.Just how far will she go to save her?Are soulmates final, or can they change?
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov/Original Female Character(s), Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons, Loki & Thor, stucky if you squint and cover one eye - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	1. Pretty Bird

"And once again, the Avengers save the day in New York. Within minutes of the first terrorist firing, all nine superheroes were on scene and quickly detained the six gunmen and women. Only four civilians were injured, no deaths. Brought to you live from the Deer Cafe in New York, thanks Amanda." The reporter finished her segment, handing the microphone to a camera man before attempting to tame her hair, wild with the wind. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the Avengers handing the criminals over to the police, before leaving the crime scene. _Was it just her, or did Hawkeye just take the Black Widow's hand?_ Turning back to the camera crew, she gestured for them to get her boss on the phone.

She wasn't the only one who noticed. Back at the Avengers Tower, the Sparrow was in full lecture mode, despite being ten years younger than the ones being lectured.

"What the hell were you thinking? The media will be all over this within half an hour! Are you _trying_ to make my job harder? Cause it's working!" Sparrow yelled furiously, waving her arms around her head exasperatedly. Hawkeye and the Black Widow were ignoring her penetrative glare, instead choosing to stare at her knees. This only made her madder, so the other Avengers, having been standing back and watching, were forced to intervene.

"Alright Zayla, that's enough. You can make them write the statement for you, as punishment." Steve tried to soothe her, reaching towards her. She glared at him, but it was noticeably less intense.

"Statements, _plural_. And no, because last time they messed up, they turned the paper into japanese daggers and had a dagger fight on the dining table, _in full costume_." Zayla growled, and some of the Avengers snickered in memory of the "table incident". Even Steve stifled a snort, before seeing the look on her face and rearranging his features into a somewhat innocent expression.

"Okay, fine. Would you like me to help, Zay? I've got training tomorrow morning and a meeting in the evening, but I should be home and free in between." Sam came to the rescue, putting his hand on his best friend's shoulder. She relaxed, and sighed.

"Fine. But no chocolate coffee for a week;" she directed this at Clint, who looked horrified. Natasha burst out laughing until Zayla turned to her, a glint in her eye. "And _you_ , no new Makarovs for two weeks. Maybe next time you go to reveal something like that," she gestured between the two assassins, "You'll think twice and _ask me first_. Lecture over. Who's cooking dinner?" The subject was changed so abruptly it would give an outsider whiplash. There was a collective sigh of relief around the room as Zayla's famous temper was diffused.

"I will, as long as Bucky helps. And Tony's on dessert duty." Bruce volunteered, already thinking aloud for recipes. The Hulk wasn't needed today, so he didn't have to shower and change like the others. Bucky nodded in acknowledgement, already heading for his floor. Steve was hot on his tail, already peeling off his t-shirt. They were long since past boundaries like that, regularly saving the world together will do that.

Natasha dragged Clint out of the room, calling over her shoulder to Thor. They had volunteered to take Thor into their floor, and teach him the 'ways of humanity'. So far they were getting on well, but now the remaining Avengers couldn't help but wonder if he was a part of their... thing.

"So, what? Natashalie and Birdy are screwing? I knew it!" Tony cried triumphantly, holding his hand out to Bruce, who sighed and handed Tony a crumpled dollar bill. Zayla followed their exchange with narrowed eyes, and too late, Tony realised exactly what he was celebrating. "Oh, Zay. Shit. I forgot. You okay?" he questioned, voice filled with concern as he stepped towards the stricken girl. Only he, Bruce and Sam knew who Zayla's soulmates were. It was probably the best-kept secret in the country. The others thought Zayla had two black marks, and just hadn't met her soulmates yet.

Zayla just shook her head, eyes filled with pain. Hesitating, she looked torn, before turning and running from the room. Sam sighed and made as if to follow her, but Tony put out a hand and stopped him.

"Nah, man. Let her be alone for a bit. I'll order her favourite ice cream for dessert, and we can pull an all-nighter with her if she's bad. For now, let her be." Tony sighed. Sam nodded, and stepped away from Tony. He headed for the elevator, and Tony already knew where he was headed. When he was upset, he needed to punch something.

**~~ZAYLA'S POV~~**

"No. No, no no. You've _got_ to be kidding me." I muttered as I ran from the room. "This isn't _fucking_ fair." I finally reached the elevator and slammed the button for my floor. My left wrist was burning, and I could feel strong emotions flooding me. Lust, love, happiness... No prizes for guessing what Natasha and Clint were up to right now. Rubbing at my hidden marks, I stumbled out of the elevator straight into the living room I share with Sam. Ignoring JARVIS' usual greeting, I went into the bathroom and locked the door. Finally alone, I ripped off the left sleeve of my combats, swearing under my breath. Most of the time, my soul-marks were hidden underneath a thick layer of foundation, made by Tony specifically for me. It was waterproof, chemical burn proof, and impossible to remove. Usually.

Because when I looked down at my wrist, the harsh silver outline of my marks was clearly visible.

_Fuck._

This must be the first time Nat and Clint were sleeping together, because the passion had caused my marks to burn so strongly it simply evaporated the foundation.

Tony had only made one batch, and we had lost the recipe when HYDRA last infiltrated SHIELD. _I am so screwed._ I groaned.

Not only had I just found out that my soulmates were screwing each other, but I now had no way of covering my marks.

See, most people are born with black soul-marks, any number from two to five. Five was pretty rare, but not unheard of. Black meant your soulmates had your mark on their bodies, and they were alive and well. Black was a cause for celebration.

Silver is uncommon. Silver is a cause for mourning. Silver marks mean your soulmates are either dead, or don't have your mark. They doom you to live a life alone. When you have silver, you have two options; isolate yourself, or try and meet other silvers in the hopes of having a relationship. Problem is, to meet other silvers, you have to socialise and that opens up the possibility of accidentally meeting your soulmates. If they're in a relationship with each other, it can break the silver's heart.

Not every silver's soulmates have each other's marks. Sometimes there's more than one break in the chain, which simultaneously lessens and increases the suffering of those silvers. I was born with two silver marks; a Black Widow mark and a sniper's sight. I believed them to be dead, as for most of my life they were lifeless. I never felt any emotions, never heard a name that sent a bolt of electricity through me, never had any hint that my soulmates were still on this plane of existence. And I was okay with that.

Then I joined the Avengers, and promptly felt two bolts of electrifying energy shoot through me. I confided in Tony, and he convinced me to stay, but only because Nat and Clint weren't in a relationship. He helped me develop a foundation to hide my marks permanently, and I had been content. But now... 

"JARVIS, call Tony. And Sam. And tell Bruce that when he's done cooking, I need him." I hesitated, then shrugged. "Aw, what the hell. Get Thor in here too, he might know some fancy Asgardian magic to hide marks." I tossed over my shoulder to the speaker in the corner of the room, and heard JARVIS' confirmation sound. There were tears in my eyes, but I was determined not to cry. Not yet, anyway. I left the bathroom and wandered aimlessly around my living room, waiting for cavalry to arrive.

"Ah, little bird! Man in the ceiling said you require assistance." I was jolted out of my thoughts by Thor's jovial voice. He was exiting the elevator, followed closely by my best friend and surrogate father.

"Hey Thor." I greeted, attempting to be cheerful and failing miserably. His face creased in concern, and he opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Sam crashing into me, hugging me tightly. I hugged him back, taking comfort in his presence.

"Zay, you okay?" Tony called from the door, and in answer I uncurled my left arm from Sam's body and flashed it in Tony's direction. I heard him swear under his breath, and knew he had seen the issue. Finally untangling myself from Sam, I turned to a confused Thor.

"Thor, Asgardians have soul-marks too, right? Are your people aware of how to... hide them?" I questioned the God, and his face lit up in understanding. 

"My lady, I believe my brother may be able to help with that. He is a master of illusions. Would you like me to request his assistance?" Thor asked, and I nodded gratefully.

"Tony... you know what this means. Next chance I get, I'm going." I turned my attention to my parental figure, and his whole body sagged.

"Zay.. please. Stay. Fury can order them to tone down the PDA, and have you assigned to a different base, just please don't leave." he begged, coming to stand in front of me, but I could see in his eyes he knew it was hopeless.

"I'm sorry, Tony-" I began, but the Avengers alarm interrupted me. Steve's voice came over the intercom, sounding frantic.

"Avengers, assemble. Full combat armour, level ten weapons. SHIELD's Moroccan base is under attack, and intel suggests Miami is next. Zayla, you're being shipped to the Morocco base with Widow and Hawk. The rest of us are flying to Miami. When we're done setting up defenses, Wilson and Barnes will rendezvous with Moroccan base and assist in cleanup." there was an audible click as he slammed the receiver down, and we all exchanged glances. I answered Tony's unspoken question with a subtle nod, and he nodded back.

"Alright guys, chop chop. Sam, I'll see you soon. Tony, Thor, stay safe yeah? If you get hurt, call me and I'll come and replace you. The quintjet is fast enough that I can be there in an hour, two tops." I instructed, already headed for my built-in combat wardrobe. I heard the elevator door open then close, and focused on the task at hand. Quickly throwing on my suit and grabbing my favourite semi-automatic, I began planning our attack. Clint would go high and watch Nat and I's backs, and I would provide a distraction so Nat could get to control room without being overwhelmed. That in mind, I grabbed S.M.A.R.T grenades, and a couple of smoke bombs just in case.


	2. Vultures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit violence. Minor torture, not graphic. Explicit language.

**~~ZAYLA'S POV~~**

Within minutes I had arrived at the roof, where our quintjet was waiting. The others had already left, so only Nat and Clint were waiting for me. I greeted them with a curt nod, already in battle mode. Locking myself into the cockpit of our shiny black quintjet, I barely waited for my teammates to board before pressing 'start route' on the console, double checking the coordinates were right. At maximum speed, we were an hour away from our destination. Usually it would take three, but Tony did some modifications and added Iron-Man tech, so our quintjets are so much faster now. Once I'd done a routine check of the controls, I stood up and unlocked the door separating me from the causes of my heartache.

"Alright guys. I'm guessing, usual plan of attack?" Clint got straight into business, and I nodded. I hate to admit it, but I'm at my best when I have my soulmates at my side. "Sparrow, remember to look first before shooting. According to first responders, a scan for SHIELD tags revealed at least ten agents still alive. That was fifteen minutes ago, and we lost contact with the squadron shortly after, so not sure how long they'll be able to hold out." he reminded, and I rolled my eyes.

"That was _one time_ , and he turned out to be a HYDRA agent who stole a SHIELD tag off one of our dead agents anyway." I protested, and Clint snorted. Just as he was about to fire back, we were stopped.

"Leave her alone, my hawk." Natasha intervened, and I felt my stomach drop at the blatant sign of affection. Natasha and Clint both noticed, exchanging glances before turning towards me.

"Zay, what's the matter? You've been off ever since the attack this afternoon. You seemed really angry at Nat and I, everything okay?" Clint asked tentatively, and I frowned.

"I'm fine, _Agent_. We should be focusing on the task at hand." I snapped, my voice clipped. Which only made him nosier.

"Is this about your soulmates? I know you haven't found them yet, but one day you'll be happy with them too." he tried to comfort me, so I lashed out.

"No, Clint, I won't. Wanna know why? My marks are silver, god-dammit. Now can I go back to memorising the layout of the base?" I snarled, and he recoiled in shock. He and Nat shut up, and I turned back to the 3D hologram on the small table. _Damn. They weren't supposed to know that._ I felt a flash of panic. There's nowhere on the quint-jet to escape from their questions and pitying stares.

By now we were only twenty minutes away from our drop-off point, so I stalked into the cockpit, slamming and locking the door. Once alone, I could finally focus again. Getting the quint-jet to the base would be tricky, HYDRA would be expecting an attack and will have men on the anti-aircraft artillery. I couldn't risk trying to blow them up, in case I hit the survivors. EMP it was, then.

This is where it gets complicated. SHIELD EMPs don't work on SHIELD tech, and vice versa HYDRA EMPs don't work on HYDRA technology. Too much risk of rogues crippling an army while it's attacking. This meant that I had to use a combination of both HYDRA and SHIELD pulses to knock out all electricity in the base. On one hand, HYDRA wouldn't be able to communicate using comm links, but on the other hand our quint-jet will be knocked out too. The survivors will also be without any defences in the time it takes us to find them. We had to time the detonation perfectly so that we were on the ground when it hits, but far enough away from the base that _our_ comm links won't be knocked out. We'll only have a few minutes of chaos to launch our assault, so everything has to be right on schedule.

Finally, the base was in sight. I unlocked the cockpit door, and yelled for Nat and Clint. They came straight in, and I outlined the base of my plan. 

"Alright, are we using the parachutes or glided descent?" Clint asked, all business. I grinned, my eyes lighting up in excitement. Tony had finally finished a secret project, and it was time to test it.

"Neither. On left side of your boots is a little knob. _Do not press it_. We're going to jump out, and wait two seconds before pressing it _hard_. And then... hold on." I instructed, disengaging manual mode from the control panel of the quint-jet. Nat and Clint exchanged glances suspiciously, and I shook my head. "Nope, not telling you. It would ruin the surprise, courtesy of Tony. Now open the ramp, the EMPs are detonating in..." I glanced at my watch, "one minute twenty seconds. Let's get this party started." I laughed at their resigned expressions, back-flipping out of the quint-jet, free falling for a few seconds. Pulling my knees up to my chest so that I could reach the knob on my boots, I pressed it and waited. There was a sputter, then mini repulsors formed around my heels.

"It worked!" I whooped, suddenly hovering in midair, my boots turned into Iron Man boosters. Clint and Nat, falling right beside me, couldn't help but laugh along with me. It was exhilarating, being up this high.

"Alright, now double tap your combat bracelet, and we'll descend." I yelled to my partners, the wind snatching my words away and spitting them out, I hoped, to Nat and Clint. They nodded, and I double tapped my slim black band. It, too, sputtered before nanobots streamed from it, becoming wrist repulsors.

Quickly moving my wrists, I began to descend towards the base. It was a shocking sight, all smoke and ash. Half the base was on fire, the other half looking close to collapsing. Once I was on the ground, I tapped my comm link, and it linked me to Nat and Clint. 

"Clint, you take the east watchtower and pick them off, I'll head into the fire and try to find any survivors. Nat, take the perimeter. Once you've cleaned them out, head into the rubble. Sweep for survivors but be careful, and if it gets too dangerous we'll call Tony. He can send a suit to use." I took charge, and they nodded. I slung my semi-automatic off my shoulder, cocking it and checking the ammunition. It was full, so I headed straight for the fire-enveloped building. I would only have a few minutes before it got too hot, so I moved quickly. I kicked the door down, already firing at multiple HYDRA agents. I got two out of three, and quickly ducked behind an upended table to think for a second. 

I unsheathed my combat knife from my belt, listening closely for the other agent. I could hear his footsteps echoing on the concrete floor, and I silently counted to five. On five, I dived out from behind the table, tackling the agent. He began thrashing and punching, and I caught a glancing blow to the chin. Shaking it off, I stabbed him in the neck, already up and moving before he'd gurgled his last breath. Dodging fallen agents, HYDRA and SHIELD alike, I kicked open the next door. This room was empty, so I moved onto the next one. This time, there was a small body on the floor. Judging by the pool of blood, unlikely to live. My bracelet vibrated, letting me know the body belonged to a SHIELD agent, so I crouched beside it.

"Help...ple...please..." the woman choked, and I winced. 

"I'm sorry. I'll avenge you, I promise." I whispered, reaching over to grasp her neck, slippery with blood. I looked her in the eyes, and quickly snapped her neck. Her eyes fluttered once, and she was gone. _Well, now I'm pissed._ Those monsters couldn't even put her out of her misery.

I stormed into the next room, firing without hesitation at the group of people standing around a table.

"Suprise, motherfuckers." I snarled, lunging at the closest agent. I snapped his neck and let him drop, stabbing the next in the eye. Before he'd hit the ground I'd killed two more, and was moving onto the next when Nat cried out over the comms.

"Nat!" I heard Clint yell, then he too cried out and went silent. _Fuck._ My wrist began burning, and I growled in fury.

"I've run out of patience. Where's your commander?" I grabbed the last agent, a skinny guy. He just glared at me, and I groaned.

"Dude. Either you talk, or I make you. Believe me, no matter how tough you think you are, _I'm worse._ " I growled, and reached for his arm to begin snapping.

"Okay, okay! She's set up camp on the edge of the airfield, surrounded by artillery guns." he squeaked, and I smiled.

"Wasn't so hard, was it? However, you're HYDRA. And your superiors just _majorly_ pissed me off." I smirked, snapping both of his arms in one quick movement. He shrieked, twisting to get away from me. I happily dropped him, shooting him in both kneecaps before turning and striding out.

"Sorry, everyone. You're gonna have to hang on for a bit." I muttered, breaking into a sprint back the way I came. My wrist was throbbing now, and it only served to make me angrier. Wherever they'd taken my soulmates, they were being tortured.

On my way to the airfield, I encountered several more HYDRA agents, quickly dispatching each one. Finally I reached the airfield, quickly scanning for guards. There were about fifteen heavily armed guards, two artillery guns and two snipers on the roof.

Easy.

It took me exactly three minutes and twenty-four seconds to dispatch eight of the guards, one artillery gun and one sniper. They say that a wounded, cornered animal is the most dangerous creature on earth. It's actually the second. The most dangerous thing on this planet is an Avenger whose soulmates were just jumped and being tortured. I'm also on my time of the month, so I'm extra angsty. The poor guards never stood a chance.

"What are you waiting for, mother _fuckers._ Come and get meeeeeeee!" I laughed gleefully. I do love a good massacre of HYDRA agents, it's very satisfying. Plus, my wrist had finally stopped burning, meaning Nat and Clint were okay for the moment. I was high on relief and cathartic release. Which is why I didn't see the remaining sniper take aim and pull the trigger. My left shoulder exploded in pain, and I swore violently.

" _Ow,_ you _son of a bitch._ You wanna play like that? _Fine._ " I snarled, using my good arm to hurl a SMART grenade in the general vicinity of the bastard who had shot me. It honed in on his heat signature and he exploded with a satisfying _boom_. Yay.

Eleven down, eight to go. And I had a frag bullet in my dominant shoulder... _This might actually be the fight of my life._ I shrugged, and hurled myself at the nearest guard. I was quickly swarmed by all seven of them, as four dog-piled on me. On one hand, it made it hard for me to breathe, and I also have no chance of escape. However, it also means that I have about a minute and a half before I suffocate, to stab and break anything in reach without them being able to retaliate. I stayed as still as possible, quickly assessing the brutes on top of me. One reached towards a fellow guard, presumably for handcuffs, and I exploded into action.

Using the knife tucked up my left sleeve, I thrust the dagger straight into his armpit, giving him about forty seconds before he bled out. He howled and tried to wriggle away from me, shifting the other guards. My shoulder shrieked at me, but I told it to shut up. With one quick kick to the neck I knocked out another guard, smiling as I heard a _crack_. Two down, two to go. Due to dying dude on top of me, the remaining two guards and the three still standing there couldn't actually hit me. 

One guard lunged at me, shoving his dying comrade off of me, before sitting on me and trying to stab me with one of my own knives. _Dude._

I waited for him to begin moving his arm before using another knife to impale him straight through the soft bit of his chin. He froze and began toppling over, but I had already reclaimed my precious knife from his limp fingers. Now, there were four guards and an artillery gun. Good news was, the artillery gun was unmanned. Bad news? I now had a bruised, if not cracked rib, a heavily bleeding shoulder, one knife missing and half a mag of ammo left. 

I was worried, until my wrist began pulsing, sending waves of agony and fury through my body. At the same time, I heard the most unnerving scream in my life. Instinctively knowing it was Natasha, my body went into overdrive. I barely remember slashing and tearing my way through the remaining guards, before storming into the small airfield office and killing ten more HYDRA officers. All I know is that pain didn't affect me, and all I could see was red.

By the time I was finished with the officers, that was all anyone could see. I had literally torn them to pieces, there was blood _everywhere,_ and I _didn't care_. I had to find Tasha and Clint. Natasha was still screaming, so I followed the sound of her pain into a corridor lined with mirrors. It was unnerving, but I kept going until I found the source of the noise. The door was deadlocked, so I kicked it a few times, broke a toe, swore and began hurling grenades at it. The third bomb finally shattered the door, and I didn't even wait for the smoke to clear before I was in the room, kicking, slashing anything I touched. I received another punch in the head, but I didn't even flinch. Finally, a voice broke me out of my rage.

"Z-Zayla? That you?" Clint's voice, weak and hesitant, came from the corner. The smoke had cleared and I could see one more officer standing between me and my soulmates. She held a gun to Nat's head, finger on the trigger, causing me to freeze. She was wearing a black hoodie, obscuring most of her face, but there was something oddly familiar about her stance. The officer waved her hand at me, and I quickly dropped my gun and all of my knives. She gave me a sickly sweet smile, and I bared my teeth back.

"Zayla, Zayla, Zayla. Fancy seeing you here." she clucked her tongue, mock humour in her voice. Without taking my eyes off her, I ignored her comment and called over to Clint.

"You okay? When we bust out of here, you good to run?" I heard him chuckle.

"Both legs broken. Concussion. Broken rib. Stab wound in my left arm. Nah, I'm not running anytime soon." he answered drily, and I almost started crying. I could feel my injuries again now, and I was in no condition to carry Clint. Nat was covered in blood and unconscious, so she'd need help too.

_Shit._

"Why? Why are you doing this?" I asked, stalling for time. The woman laughed, sending chills down my spine. It was a gratingly familiar sound, a bit like fingernails down a chalkboard.

"Firstly, introductions are in order. Well, re-introductions. My name is Commander Hughes, ring any bells?" the Commander smirked, and I let out a choked growl.

_No. Not possible._

Her smile widened and she pulled the hoodie back, revealing the face I hated most.

" _You._ You're dead. I _personally_ made sure of it!" I hissed, and she laughed again.

"Clones, my dear. Clones." she answered simply, and I nodded grudgingly. I had no way of checking that.

"Alright, fine. But why take Nat and Clint, why not just take me?" that was the one thing that didn't make sense. She could've easily taken me and have left already, but she had taken Nat and Clint instead. I had a horrible feeling in my stomach that I knew exactly why she took them. It was confirmed with the next words out of the Commander's mouth.

"Because they're your soulmates. Torture them, I torture you." Commander grinned ferally, and I heard Clint's pained gasp.

 _No. No, no. Everything's going wrong. How did she know that? There are only three people-_ I voiced my last thought out loud, and she finished my sentence.

"Three people on the planet who know the identity of your soulmates, I know. And fifteen minutes ago, all three were at SHIELD's Miami base. Well, they were. They're currently indisposed." she purred, and I screamed, dropping to my knees. It was a sound full of pain, anger and grief, and it travelled through my soulmate bond, temporarily sending Clint into a fury, reigniting my own rage. Natasha was too deeply unconscious, but I could feel her stirring through the bond. Before Commander Hughes could react, both Clint and I had lunged at her, ripping, tearing and breaking every bit of her we could reach. She was shrieking in pain, but it only served to feed the red in my gaze.

She never stood a chance.

Finally, she stopped screaming, mostly due to the fact she no longer had a voice box. I should've felt grief and horror at what I was doing, but basic primal instinct had taken over. Clint snapped out of it first, mostly due to the fact he had three broken bones and one hell of a headache. He somehow crawled over to me, calling my name.

"Zay? Zay, what's going on?" his confused words twisted my heart, and I felt tears streaming down my face. Silently reaching over and taking his hand, I watched him fall limp, finally unconscious.

"It's gonna be okay, Clint. I promise. When you wake up, we'll be okay." I whispered, fighting to stay awake. I needed to check on Nat, fire a distress signal, but berserking twice in one day takes a lot out of your body.

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to._

I felt myself crashing to the floor, everything going dark.


	3. Fox in the Pen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see the introduction of some familiar face, much angst, a little fluff.

**~~3rd Person POV~~**

There wasn't much left of the once-majestic SHIELD base, except a few piles of concrete and rubble. Some walls were still half-intact, splattered with dried blood. There were charred human remains, SHIELD and HYDRA alike, and the occasional mostly-unburnt body. It looked, quite simply, like a warzone. The airfield wasn't much better. There were bloody bodies strewn across the yard, all with various gruesome injuries. Two had limbs missing, another two looked like they'd been hurled through a few walls, and the rest were all sprawled in positions that suggested they had several broken bones. There didn't seem to be a living soul on the entire base, except for the squadron of soldiers, all wearing non-descript military clothing and carrying generic pistols. Standing behind the squadron was a man wearing a hawaiian shirt and beige shorts, with a white Bauta mask covering his face. He looked strange, but clearly commanded the respect of the soldiers in front of him.

"Move in, Omega Squad. First priority is the missing Avengers." The man instructed, speaking into his commlink. The squad members all nodded, checking their ammunition one last time before cautiously moving into the smouldering ruins, instinctively covering each other's backs and communicating silently. They swept the rubble, finding only dead and dying. None of the bodies matched the description of the Avengers, so they moved into the airfield. The leading soldier bent down to inspect a particularly bloody corpse, and gestured for her soldiers to gather round the limp body. The object of her attention was immediately apparent; a long, slim dagger with a small black sparrow engraved on the hilt. Silently waving her soldiers on, she carefully slid the knife out of the corpse's mangled throat, wiping it clean on his ripped HYDRA uniform. The squad continued into the building, stepping around pools of blood and fallen agents. If what they saw outside had horrified them, it was nothing compared to the sight waiting for them inside the airfield office.

The walls were no longer white, but crimson and still dripping in blood. There was no way of telling how many people had been slaughtered in this room, they were all in so many pieces. Two soldiers promptly vomited, and one began hyperventilating. It was a truly horrifying scene, like something out of an R rated movie.

"Johnson, you take Simmons and Triplett take the left corridor. May, and Fitz and I will take the right corridor." the squad leader nodded to the soldier closest to him, and she nodded. She and two other soldiers broke away from the main group, and just as the remaining three began to move down the right corridor, Johnson yelled out in horror. Her squad members immediately rushed to her, and let out various exclamations of shock and fury as they took in the sight in front of them.

The door to the room was splintered, remnants of a doorknob lying halfway across the room. There were seven and a half bodies in the ruined room, and they immediately split up to check on the three still-breathing bodies. A gravely injured Natasha Romanoff was freed from her restraints by a sobbing Simmons, Johnson trying her best to not bring the already-unstable building down on top of them. May and Fitz were crouched over a weak Sparrow, while the man in the mask murmured with Triplett over Clint Barton's sprawled body.

"Coulson, Natasha's alive, but pulse is thready and she's lost too much blood. We need emergency evac, _now._ " Johnson warned the man in the mask. He nodded in acknowledgment, May immediately abandoning her attempts to wake Zayla, reaching for her comm. link and barking instructions with a slightly strained voice.

"Clint, c'mon. Wake up." Triplett whispered urgently to the prone archer, before raising his voice. "Clinton Francis Barton, wake the _fuck_ up right now!" he yelled, startling the others in the room, and causing the archer to groan and open his eyes, wincing in pain.

"Trip? T-Tasha.. She's..." Clint mumbled urgently, his voice gravelly from screaming. Triplett made a calming gesture, gently preventing the struggling Clint from getting up.

"We know, May called for medevac. She's alive, I promise. Zayla's okay too, don't worry. Listen, I need to knock you out, or when we move you it's gonna hurt like a bitch." Triplett warned, waiting for Clint's answering nod before using his pressure point to ease him back into unconsciousness. The medics arrived just as Natasha began to seize, injuring herself even further. Simmons was quickly relaying her injuries to the medics, while May and Coulson were carefully moving Clint and Zayla onto stretchers. Within ten minutes, all three Avengers were being treated on board a quintjet, their rescuers pacing anxiously as they listened to the medics desperately trying to save their lives.

***Six Hours Later***

**~~ZAYLA'S POV~~**

I woke up to a rapidly beeping machine, immediately presuming the worst and ripping my tubes out. My eyes were blurry, causing my heartrate to speed up in panic. _Am I drugged? Does HYDRA have me? What's going on?_ I thrashed, throwing an itchy blanket off my body and trying to escape the bed before a familiar voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Zayla, it's okay. It's me. They're safe, I promise." Jemma Simmons' voice sent a wave of relief crashing through me, before my brain caught up with what she had said. I waited until the doctors fixed my tubing to respond, my heart clenching painfully.

"They? You mean my partners? What are their conditions?" I cleared my throat, attempting to keep up a professional facade, even though my body was screaming for me to run to them, to find my soulmates. Through my squinting gaze, I saw Jemma wince and take a step towards me.

"Zay, I saw your marks. We did surgery to repair the damage the frag bullet did, and we had to rip your sleeves off. I'm sorry, Zay. I'm so sorry." Jemma's voice was full of gentle pity, and I crumbled. Memories came flooding back... Natasha, screaming and bloody, and again, limp and broken. Clint, his eyes glowing as we tore apart Commander Hughes. 

_Oh my god. Please, no!_

Tearing apart the HYDRA agents, _enjoying_ their pain. The overwhelming images sent me reeling, my head spinning with horror. And then the last memory clicked into place, sending me into a panic.

"Sam! The Commander said she'd captured him, as well as Tony and Bruce. Have you found them yet?" I asked, almost scared of the answer. The dread in my stomach turned to confusion when Jemma looked puzzled.

"They're all fine, I spoke to them five minutes ago. They've finished with the Miami base and they'll meet us at the Tower." Jemma responded, and I felt like I was sinking. _How did she know what Nat and Clint were to me, if she didn't kidnap the others?_ It didn't make sense, but I shoved it away for now.

"Okay, good." I swallowed, before asking the question I dreaded most. "Nat? Clint? How... how bad is it?" I licked my lips nervously, and Jemma sighed.

"Not good. Clint has three broken bones, a concussion, two minor stab wounds and a damaged tendon in his right ankle. Nat..." she hesitated, gulping before continuing. "She's in a coma. Her lungs were punctured by a rib, and there's a lot of damage. It's easier to tell you which bones _aren't_ broken, and even that list is small. There was a massive wound to her stomach, and she was almost dead when we found you. Nat coded three times, and we had to put her on extensive life support. She might not wake up, Zayla. I'm sorry." Jemma turned and exited the room, taking my heart with her.

_No._

_God, no. Please. Not Tasha..._

I whimpered, my right hand instinctively rubbing the unresponsive black widow in my left wrist. _I can't lose her. Neither of us can._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I sorry for the cliffhanger? Not really.


	4. Broken Wing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayla deals with the aftermath of the attack on SHIELD, and finds help in an unexpected place.

**~~3RD PERSON POV~~**

It had been three days since the disastrous mission in Morocco, and Zayla had shut down.

She wasn't eating, wasn't drinking, wasn't moving.

She hadn't said a word since she discovered Nat was dying.

In some ways, she was worse than Clint, who spent his time sitting by Nat's bedside, watching the steadily beeping machine keep her alive.

On the third day, she broke.

**~~ZAYLA's POV~~**

Numb. That's all I felt. Jemma's words were echoing around my head, along with Commander Hughes' cruel laughter as she tortured Nat.  
 _Torture them, I torture you_.

_Coma. Might not wake up._

Commander Hughes' dying scream.

_No!_

_Won't wake up._

_I'm sorry._

"Ms Stark, you have two visitors." I didn't even look at the doctor, and I heard him sigh and leave the room.

My last name isn't Stark, we just use it for paperwork. It's easier. 

"Lady of Sparrows, I brought a friend." the voice wasn't Tony, as I had expected, but a rather subdued Thor. The surprise was almost enough to make me turn my head and look. _Almost._

"Little Bird? Can you hear me?" Thor tried again, and I saw his shadow as he cautiously approached my bed. Still, I ignored him.

"She's in shock, brother. Leave her with me, and I will assist her as best I can." A gentle, sad voice came from just behind Thor. Internally, I frowned.

 _Loki? What is he doing_ _here?_ I was confused. As far as I knew, Loki stayed on Asgard and only came to help when there was something in it for him.

Still, I didn't voice this thought. Speaking would make this reality. Speaking would mean I have to face Clint, face Nat's lifeless body. And I couldn't do that.

_My fault._

I heard Thor leave, and then quiet footsteps approached me again.

"Hello, little bird." the sad voice spoke again, and I felt him sit beside me on the bed. _He wasn't going to give up, was he?_

"No, I'm not. I'm not going to push you, but I'm not going to leave you, either." I felt a jolt of shock.

 _He can read minds?_ The man beside me chuckled softly, the bed shaking slightly.

"Yes. Don't worry, I can't read memories or control you, I can only read your thoughts. Since you won't talk, I figure this is easier." His voice sounded kind, peculiarly so. I had heard many stories of Loki, Prince of Asgard and Jotunheim, God of Mischief, and none involved him being _kind_.

 _What do you_ _want?_ I thought at him, and he sighed. "Humans aren't the only ones with soul-marks. And you're not the only one who's had a soulmate die because of you." Loki's voice turned sad, and I almost felt sorry for him, until I registered what he'd said. And I moved.

I lunged at him, grabbing him by the collar of his black jacket and pinning him against the wall. My body was weak and I was still injured, but I had the element of surprise.

I leaned in till we were nose to nose, him breathing hard from shock, me from anger.

"She's. Not. Dead." I snarled, my voice cracked and raspy, but effective. Loki just watched me silently, and I suddenly dropped him, stepping back.

_She's not dead._

_Yet._

_No. No._

"Nat..." I whimpered, and crashed to the floor. Loki caught me, cradling me as I began crying hard, everything I'd bottled up inside finally exploding.

Loki sat on the floor with me, rocking me, stroking my hair soothingly.

"Breathe, little bird. Breathe. Let it all out." he murmured, and I took in a deep, shuddering breath. My face was sticky with tears, and my heart was aching so much it physically hurt to breathe.

 _I can't lose her._ I began chanting it inside my head, the words tripping over each other, faster and faster, whimpering desperately. Loki simply kept rocking me, whispering in a mix of English and Jotun, all the while stroking my knotty, filthy hair.

"I'm going to tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young man named Valiane. He was poor, and didn't have much to his name, but he was honest and generous and kind. And everyone who met him, loved him. But he had a soul-mark, and not one person matched the small black mark on his wrist." Loki stopped, and I felt him swallow hard.

"There was a war brewing between two neighbouring kingdoms, and the war spilled over into Valiane's home. Much blood was spilt on all three sides. The kingdom caught in the middle was destroyed. Valiane was drafted into the war and sent to the battlefield. He was sent to the enemy's Palace to clear out any survivors. He felt a strange tingling growing stronger the closer he got to the Palace, but he dismissed it. Just as he was entering the Great Hall, there was a crash. He ran to investigate, and discovered the youngest Prince on the floor, surrounded by broken pottery. He had evidently tripped in his haste to turn the corner. Instead of killing the prince, Valiane helped him up and as they touched hands, both of their marks began burning feverishly. They discovered they were soulmates. At last, they were complete." Loki chuckled at the memory, his whole chest vibrating.

"Until one of Valiane's fellow soldiers attacked the Prince. Valiane was forced to kill his ally, but suffered gravely in the process. He died in the Prince's arms." Loki was crying softly now, his tears falling on my head and trickling down my face to mix with my own. "The Prince went beserk and butchered every soldier he came across, regardless of their loyalty. He only stopped when he raised his blade to strike down a woman, and her soulmate begged him to stop. He realised what he had done and ran back to Valiane, but it was too late. He was beyond magical healing. The Prince swore that he would never raise his blade again, and dedicated his life to healing. One day, he heard of a brave warrior whose soulmate was dying, and he decided to do anything to help her save her soulmate. So here he is." Loki finished, his voice trembling with grief.

 _Can I see your mark?_ I asked softly, and he hesitated before nodding. I slowly uncurled in his lap, watching quietly as he undid the first few buttons on his shirt and pulled it off over his head.

There, where his shoulder met his collarbone, was a dark, silver snake. It was dull and lifeless, unlike a normal mark, and it tore my heart.

"It was his family symbol. When he died, I adopted it as my own." he answered my unspoken question, and I nodded again. Hesitantly, I reached out and traced the beautifully tragic mark, Loki shivering as I touched it.

"You said you were here to save her. Can you do it?" I whispered breathlessly, hope blooming under my skin and seizing hold of me. Loki nodded wordlessly, and I felt a rush of gratitude and relief wash through me.

"It won't be easy, I'll need you and Barton to lend me your strength." he warned, and I nodded.

"Thank you." I whispered, tears once more shining in my eyes. He met my gaze and held it, and I saw a single tear fall down his face. 

"You're welcome, little bird." he answered gently, and kissed my forehead. Loki carefully picked me up and placed me on my bed, settling into the chair beside me. At my questioning gaze, he smiled and snapped his fingers, a book appearing in his hands. "Sleep, Lady of Sparrows. You will need your strength in the days to come." I heard him murmur, and I finally let sleep carry me away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this fic, Loki grew up in Asgard, but was aware of his true heritage. Events of the Thor movies didn't happen, because he was never a villain. Odin is still a crap dad, but Frigga raised Loki and Thor to be kind and brave.  
> Please leave a comment on what you think so far, anything I could do better, any hopes for where this goes.


	5. Learn To Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayla slowly begins her recovery, learns more about the soulmate bond and faces Clint.  
> Graphic violence (flashbacks). Swearing. So much angst. Mentions of suicidal thoughts, previous attempts.  
> I will put a warning at the beginning of those mentions, you can skip them if it triggers you.

**~~Zayla's POV~~**

My dreams were full of blood, so much blood. I was watching myself go into that weird rage, tearing apart the HYDRA officers like they were confetti. The feeling of power, of righteous _fury_ and _hatred_ was flowing through me, both thrilling and terrifying me. It was like watching the Hulk smash through a battalion of Chitauri, you want to look away but you can't.

Then I watched myself literally tearing Commander Hughes to pieces, Clint right beside me. Her blood was making the floor slippery, her flesh on every surface. It was... horrifying. And yet, I had _enjoyed_ it. While she was a terrible human being and was responsible for most of my trauma, nobody deserves to be ripped apart alive.

That freaked me out.

Just as Clint collapsed and said my name, I woke up. To my utter surprise, Loki was still by my side, but holding a different book. This one, titled 'Ways to Seduce Dragons', seemed an odd choice, but considering the stories, I wasn't entirely surprised.

"Hey." I whispered, my throat and eyes sore from crying. Loki glanced up from his page, and smiled.

"Morning. Feeling better, I presume?" he asked kindly, and I nodded sheepishly. Sitting up in bed, I noticed I had an IV in one arm, pumping fluids into me. I ripped it out, wincing at the movement. My shoulder was still very sore, but now that I had slept and was hydrated, it would start healing. Jumping around last night had inflamed my broken rib, but the pain was... bearable. Overall, I was definitely going to need pain-killers, but I'd be okay. Just as I had that thought, my stomach rumbled. I heard Loki chuckle and I glanced at him, embarrassed.

"You haven't eaten in four days. It's impressive you were able to pin me last night. If you're feeling up to it, we can go down to the cafeteria and grab some breakfast." Loki offered, and I nodded gratefully.

"Thanks, Loki. Not to sound ungrateful, but why are you doing this?" I asked, confused. He smiled sadly, hesitating before answering.

"Because I was once where you are, and it's what I wish someone had done for me." he said simply, and I nodded, feeling awkward.   
"Anyway, shall we?" He offered me his arm, and I hobbled over to a previously unnoticed wheelchair in the doorway. I hated it, but if I walked I'd just hurt my ribs. I may be dumb, but I'm not masochistic. Loki pushed me through the mostly-empty hallways until we reached the cafeteria, and I breathed a sigh of relief that it was mostly empty.

Once I was settled at a table in the corner, Loki went to get us some food. I wasn't entirely optimistic, SHIELD food was notoriously horrible. To my surprise, however, Loki returned with my favourite breakfast on a tray. At my questioning look, he just smiled.

I was halfway through my Nutella-and-Biscoff toast, in heaven due to the chocolate-malt flavour, when I froze with my toast halfway to my mouth. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Loki frown, but I ignored him. My eyes were fixed on two newcomers; Steve pushing Clint, who was in a wheelchair too. My hands began to shake and I felt close to tears, which Loki noticed. He reached over and took my hand in a comforting gesture, which helped to ground me.

Clint looked just as sick as I did, his face pale and deep bags under his eyes. He gave me a weak smile as Steve wheeled him closer and closer.

"Loki..." I whimpered, and gave him a panicking glance. At the moment, he was my rock, someone who knew what I was going through. He caught my eye and mouthed, 'It's okay. I'm here.' which didn't really help, but the sentiment was appreciated. Finally, finally, Clint got close enough for us to talk.

"Hi." he greeted nervously, and I just stared at him. Steve was standing there awkwardly, and I was still clutching Loki's hand. When it became clear I was not going to say anything, he sighed and began to ask Steve to take him away, when I hesitated.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, not really expecting him to hear. He turned to me, and I repeated it. "I'm sorry, Clint. I'm sorry you were dragged into my mess." I said through gritted teeth, waiting for the blow that would shatter me forever.

It never came.

"Oh, Zayla. There's nothing to be sorry for." I went to interrupt him, but he held his hand up to stop me. "I mean, yeah I'm annoyed you kept important information from us, but I also understand why. And for what it's worth... I'm sorry that you're not my soulmate." Clint sounded genuinely sorry, which soothed my nerves a little. But there was still a voice in my head, whispering that it was all my fault, it should be me lying on that bed, dying. Loki seemed to sense this, because he gave me a stern look.

"I... How did you deal, all these years?" Steve asked, suddenly entering the conversation. I glanced up at him and took a deep breath.

**!!SUICIDAL MENTIONS!!**

"I didn't." I answered simply, and he frowned in confusion. Without letting go of Loki's hand, I held my wrists out to Steve. I heard his sharp intake of breath, and knew he saw the scars. On my left wrist, there was a mess of scar tissue and angry lines. Up until now, the foundation had covered them, but now they were revealed.

"About six months into joining the Avengers, I tried to kill myself. Sam and Tony found me, and carried me to Bruce, blood everywhere. Tony already knew about my marks, but Sam and Bruce didn't. When I was able to stop crying, I told them. Since then, they always stay with me overnight when I come home from a particularly bad mission, or when you or.." my voice faltered, "...Or Nat are injured or missing. Just in case." I finished my sentence quietly, and I saw the heartbreak in Clint and Steve's eyes.

"Zay.. I'm so, so sorry I didn't notice. I should've..." a distressed Steve trailed off, looking stricken.

"There was nothing you could do, Steve. You were dealing with the whole Bucky thing, and I didn't want to add to that whole mess." I reassured him, and he looked a little relieved. Clint, however...

"Holy _fuck,_ Zayla! I... How did you not hate Nat and I? Why didn't you leave?" Clint whispered, horrified, and I winced.

"Because I could never, _ever_ leave either of you. I knew you would be safer if I was there to save you, someone who would always help you no even if you were trying to destroy the world. You're in my _soul,_ Clint. You and Nat both. If one of you stopped breathing, a piece of me dies too. How could I walk away?" I felt tears coming to my eyes, and I blinked them away furiously. There was a moment of silence, then Clint spoke up.

"Speaking of saving, what happened back at the Base? All I remember is everything going red, and waking up to the Commander in pieces." Clint frowned, and Loki glanced up in surprise.

"You went Berserk. There are accounts of people's eyes glowing, their marks literally on fire, unaffected by injury and able to do superhuman things if their soulmate is in mortal danger. When Zayla went berserk, it must've bled through her mark and tipped you over the edge too." Loki informed us, and I nodded. That explained the 'Hulk-Smashy' thing. 

"What _I_ don't understand is how that woman knew about your soul-marks." Steve commented, and I sighed.

"About that..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, not sorry for the cliffhanger.


	6. Crash Landing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayla tells everyone (except Nat) why Commander Hughes is after her. Clint and Zayla have a tender moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating. My mother was diagnosed with terminal illness, which hit me hard. Also, university got really busy. I'm feeling better now, and have lots of ideas! Stay tuned!
> 
> Also, at a certain point in this chapter, italics are Zayla's thoughts and bold italics are Loki's.

"...I should probably tell all of you at once. I'd rather not repeat this." I decided, and the others nodded.

"I'll call a team meeting, give you two time to get dressed and finish breakfast. Say, half an hour?" Steve suggested, and both Clint and I nodded. With that decided, Steve began to wheel Clint back to his room, leaving Loki and I sitting at our table. As soon as they were out of earshot, Loki turned to me.

"Are you up for this? I can show them, if you'd rather." he offered, his green eyes meeting my still-watery ones. I shook my head hesitantly.

"I'm not up for this, no. But I think I've hid from the past enough. I need to start healing and gathering my strength to save Nat." I decided, my determination clear. Loki simply nodded, before turning back to his tea and scones (seriously?).

**~~30 Minutes Later~~**

I had finished my large breakfast of toast, coffee, juice and sausages. After the feast, I needed to change so Loki wheeled me back to my dull little room. My rib was starting to ache again and my shoulder was stinging, but I grit my teeth and forced myself to pull on a loose t-shirt and tracksuit pants. Much to my embarrassment, Loki had to assist with the pants, as I couldn't bend properly. Finally, I was ready to spill my life story to my teammates.

"Shall we?" Loki asked, offering me his arm grandly. I laughed, and swatted him. 

"I think I'll decline, Lord Laufeyson." I smirked, pretending to curtsy as best I could. His eyes twinkled at my pretentious manners, making something within me thrill.

_Hold up._

_I'm not crushing on the God of Mischief._

_He has a dead soulmate for God's sake! And I have two LIVING soulmates!_

'Yes, but they're unrequited...' my consciousness reminded me. I swatted it away, focusing on what I need to say.

Loki wheeled me to the large meeting room, and I almost stopped breathing. I had forgotten just how many people were in the Avengers now.

Coulson's whole team was there; Coulson, Triplett, Fitz, Johnson, May and Simmons, the latter of whom tried to catch my eye. I determinedly ignored her, letting my eyes sweep over the rest of the people looking at me.

Bucky, Steve and Clint were sitting together, the latter two offering me weak smiles of which I returned. In one corner, Fury and Hill were sitting together with a pile of paperwork. At the front of the room sat Thor, Sam, Tony and Bruce. Thor lit up when Loki and I came in the room, waving enthusiastically. The other three just stared. I couldn't blame them. It had been a weird week.

"Okay, guys. Since the only Strike Team Omega members conscious are Clint and Zayla, why don't you guys start by telling us what happened on the mission? Then we can move onto why Sparrow is being targeted. Zayla, you first." Steve took charge, nodding towards me encouragingly. I gulped, everyone suddenly watching me. Just as I started to panic, Loki put his hand on my shoulder, grounding me.

"Well... you all know the beginning. The Avengers were called in, and split between two bases; Morocco and Miami. Barton, Romanov and I were sent to Morocco to clean up the surviving HYDRA agents and assist any friendlies. The rest were sent to Miami. My squad arrived at the Moroccan base, we deployed a double EMP charge to knock out defenses, then abandoned ship thanks to Stark's latest invention," I nodded towards Tony, who smiled, "shoes and bracelets filled with nanobots. We arrived on ground, Barton went high while Romanov and I stayed grounded. She went for a perimeter check, and I searched the mostly-intact west buildings. I found several HYDRA agents and dispatched them. While I was clearing out another squad, Romanov called for help and went silent. Barton followed shortly after. I knew they were being tortured, so I... asked... a HYDRA agent where to find their leader, and he was very helpful."

"Helpful as in, possible traitor, or..." Steve interrupted. I gave him a cold smile.

"Helpful as in, I broke both his arms, dropped him a few metres and shot both kneecaps." I informed him calmly, and his eyebrows shot up.

I saw Bucky chuckle, and Clint smirked proudly.

"Anyway. I made my way to the airfield, where I encountered several agents, multiple artillery guns and the like. Got shot in the left shoulder, blew some people up, stabbed others, et cetera. Found Romanov and Barton, former unconscious and the latter almost so. There was someone in with them. Her name was Commander Hughes, she and I have history. She said some things that basically boil down to this: She got my squad members because she wanted me. Clint and I... subdued her, then we both passed out." I finished. The room was silent. Just as it got awkward, Fury cleared his throat.

"Agent, how exactly did you know that your squad members were being tortured?" he questioned, and I froze. It became hard to breathe, and I was on the verge of panicking, when I heard Loki's voice in my head.

 ** _It's okay, little bird. You can tell them. They need to know._** His presence was reassuring, and I calmed.

"Uh..." I cleared my throat and tried again, "Because of these." Without thinking, I lifted my left arm up to show them my marks. Too late, I realised it was the same wrist with my scars. Oddly enough, when I peeked at the ugly mess, however, they were nowhere to be seen. 

_Thanks Loks._ I thought at him, and felt rather than saw him wink.

There were many gasps and mutters, most noticeably from Bucky and Coulson's team.

"Wait. So, Clint and Nat are your soulmates?" Triplett gasped, and I winced.

"My marks are silver, not black. As such, I feel their emotions but they do not feel mine." I answered matter-of-factly, and several people winced in sympathy.

"Well. Now that's out of the way, Zayla can you tell us about Commander Hughes?" Fury sounded impatient. He never did well with emotions, so I didn't take his tone personally.

"Right. Okay." I paused and cleared my throat. Where to begin? "Before I was an Avenger, I was used as a lure for anyone who wanted to assassinate someone high profile. My job was to be the flirty escort who leads them straight into the arms of their enemies. I never killed, never saw my employers, never knew anything. One day, a job went wrong. My employer got something wrong, and accidentally crossed the ally of rogue HYDRA Commander. I presume Hughes killed them. I got out just before the building exploded. Later, I found her body and it was definitely her. Turns out she was a clone, and now she wants me dead for accidentally getting involved. Why she'd go to such lengths, I have no idea." That was a lie, I _did_ know why, but they didn't need to know the rest of the story. 

"Wait. So you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and now this lady tried kidnapping two Avengers, who happen to be assassins might I add, just to get to you?" Bruce sounded incredulous. It did seem rather ridiculous when put like that. I winced internally, knowing there was a _lot_ more to the story, but nodded.

"So, if you and Barton subdued her, which I'm presuming means she's got more holes than swiss cheese, why is it still relevant?" Bucky crossed his arms, eyeing me curiously. Clint let out a low snort, and I glanced at him sharply. He rearranged his face to look innocent, so I moved on.

"A few reasons. Firstly, how did she know who my soulmates were? Until two days ago, only three other people knew, and all are in this room. Secondly, how did she know that my squad was being sent to Morocco? It was decided five minutes before we left the Avengers Tower. Thirdly, we have no way of checking if the person Barton and I killed was another clone. Hughes is probably still alive, and knows that my squad is currently... not in fighting shape." I listed, checking off against my limp left fingers as I went.

"Yeah, okay. But why is it relevant to _us?_ It's your mess, clean it up. If Hughes can do all that to our two best assassins, why should we risk more agents for someone who is only after you?" To my absolute shock, it was Hill who spoke up. I saw Fury glance sharply at her, but the damage was already done. Before I could respond, however, Clint jumped in.

"Excuse me? What did you just say?" his voice was dangerous. Hill frowned.

"I _said_ , it is not SHIELD's problem to deal with. Romanov is already dying in a hospital bed because of her." Hill repeated, crossing her arms in front of her and narrowing her eyes at Clint, who very slowly wheeled himself until he was leaning over her desk, directly in front of her. 

"Let me put it this way. Either you help Zayla, or I will quit SHIELD. And _when,_ not _if_ , Nat wakes up, she'll come with me. And Coulson will follow, he always does. I'm also willing to bet that many others in this room will walk away from you if you do not help our friend and teammate." his words were punctuated by nods from around the room. I held my breath, tears filling my eyes.

_They're willing to do this for me._

_Why?_

**_Because you're special, Zayla. You've been there for them. Let them be there for you._ **

_No._

I spoke the last thought out loud, and everyone turned to look at me.

"Zayla?" Sam asked, his voice uncertain. I couldn't meet his eyes.

"I said _no._ Hill's right. Nat's already dying because of me. Any of you could be next. I need to handle this. Alone." my voice trembled, but I stayed strong. I felt Loki move to protest, but I silently begged him not to.

_Please, Loki. I can't let them do this._

**_Fine. But you know I'm helping you, right?_ **

_Are you sure?_

He simply squeezed my shoulder in reply. I smiled softly in response, until a cough came from Clint. In the time we had been communicating, he had moved across the room and now sat in front of me. His face was one of disbelief.

"Zay? It's not your decision. We're helping, that's that." his voice was firm, and I nearly burst into tears.

" _No,_ Clint, you're _not_. What if you get injured and are dying? What if Loki can only save one of you? Don't make me choose, Clint. God, _please don't make me choose._ " I begged him, my voice breaking. I saw the realisation on his face, along with reluctant resignation. Tears streamed down my face, as I silently heaved a sigh of relief. 

_Thank god._

**_Do you want to go to your room?_ **Loki asked gently, and I nodded through the tears. I knew everyone was staring, but I didn't care. All I could think of was Nat, and how desperately I didn't want to see Clint on a hospital bed, horribly still. I barely noticed when we stopped moving, except to realise we weren't in my room.

"Loki?" I asked, confused. My voice was croaky, but he understood.

"Hospital rooms are boring. These are my rooms, I have the best view of all residents in this helicarrier. Thought you might enjoy it." his voice was hesitant, like he was worried for my reaction. I slowly took in the beautiful room, filled with large books and comfy spots. The thing that drew my eye the most, though, was the window. There was warm light streaming in, making pretty patterns on the grey carpet. Outside, fluffy white clouds and the occasional bird flew past, almost making me laugh with delight. I had always loved the sky, and Loki was right. This really was the best view.

"Thank you." I said quietly, suddenly feeling shy. Loki chuckled.

"You're very welcome, Little Bird." he answered, his voice warm. We sat in the sunlight for a while, enjoying the silence, until Loki finally spoke.

"So why is Commander Hughes after you? We both know that wasn't the whole truth." his voice wasn't accusing, merely curious. I hesitated, debating what to tell him. Glancing across, I met his green eyes, honest and open. Suddenly, I knew that I could trust him with my past. Swallowing, I began.

"What I told everyone is mostly true; Hughes does want me because I was involved in the death of an ally. But it's more than that. Loki, my last name, my _true_ last name, is Hughes. Commander Hughes is my sister." I admitted, allowing the information to sink in. Loki nodded thoughtfully, his face a mask.

"And the...ally... that died?" he questioned, and I winced.

"Her husband. He wasn't actually aware that my sister was involved in HYDRA. My employer got a fake tip that he was involved in a child smuggling ring, so they wanted him taken out. It wasn't him running it - it was her. She's not just furious at me, she's furious at herself. When he died, she went mad with grief. Now, all she wants is my head on a platter. I thought she died all those years ago, but apparently not." I finished, turning back to the window. I wasn't really watching the birds. All I could see in my mind's eye was my sister's face when she saw her husband on the floor with a bullet hole in his head. The betrayal when she saw me standing there, the horror when she realised what I'd done. In her mind, even though I hadn't pulled the trigger, I was just as responsible for his death as the man behind the gun.

"So that's why she went after Nat and Clint. She knows you love them, so she's punishing you. But you said she didn't know who your soulmates were?" Loki's voice was puzzled. I nodded.

"We didn't grow up together. She lived with our father, I lived with our mother. Our parents turned us against each other, the first time we met she punched me. We were eleven and thirteen. As such, we were never close enough to share marks. I have no idea if her husband was her soulmate, or even if she _has_ a mark." Thinking of those days was painful, but Loki deserved to know. I felt him shift closer to bring me into a gentle hug. While surprising, it wasn't unwelcome. He was warm and smelled good, and I leaned my head in the crook of his neck.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like things would be okay.


	7. Cuckoo in the Nest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint discovers a mole within SHIELD. When confronting the traitor, devastating consequences are unleashed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, who would you like to see Zayla end up with? Don't worry about the how, I already know how to achieve each result. Comment for Loki or Clint: who do you see her with at the end of this? Heck, if you said Loki AND Clint I could probably make it work. Vote away in the comments! If under 5 people vote, I have a default I will go with.

It had been three weeks since the ambush at Morocco, and everything was finally settling into a rhythm on the SHIELD helicarrier. Coulson's Bus left for Madrid to check in on some allies, but the remaining Avengers made a schedule and stuck to it. Every day, between 9am and 12pm, Zayla and Loki would sit together in his rooms. She, searching through stolen HYDRA files for anything on her estranged sister, while he practiced healing magic in preparation for reviving Nat. Meanwhile, Clint would be training recruits for SHIELD on the lower levels. Everyone else would be completing various tasks and heading out on missions. There was a temporary ban on all missions related to HYDRA, they couldn't risk Hughes' thirst for revenge compromising undercover agents. Mostly, Zayla avoided everyone, occasionally having breakfast with Steve, Clint and Bucky while they chatted about their experiences with HYDRA. She didn't dare visit Tony, Sam or Bruce, as they would easily discover she was hiding something, and the rest of the Avengers were too busy for catching up. Nat hadn't coded in a week, and was finally somewhat stable.

All in all, everyone could breathe a sigh of relief.

Well, everyone except Clint, who was currently staring at the video footage on the monitor, unable to believe his eyes.

**~~CLINT'S POV~~**

"Fuck, fuck _fuck._ How on _earth_ did I not notice this?" I swore under my breath, drumming my fingers furiously on the desk. Someone had been looping footage all around the helicarrier for days, deleting the original entirely from the system. I hadn't realised, until checking JARVIS' hard drive. Tony made it to ensure we always had a backup of all SHIELD files, in case of another Pierce incident. Which was a good thing, because there were hundreds of reels of footage tampered with.

"Okay. Well. I know who is doing this. Do I confront now, or find out if there are more moles? Find out if there are more moles. Can't use SHIELD utilities, they'll notice, so I'll have to use JARVIS." I muttered to myself, thinking out loud. Coming to a decision, I shut down the hard drive, pulling my access card out of the computer. All Avengers had one, which allows them to access JARVIS' public files.

"Hey J, can you tell Tony I need full access, and that I need him to not ask why right now. I promise I'll tell him later. Also, deadlock my floor. I want you recording the names of everyone who enters Avengers quarters for the next 96 hours." I glanced up at the ceiling, directing my instructions to the unseen AI. 

"Yes, Mister Hawkeye. Does this include high-level SHIELD rooms?" JARVIS asked politely, and I nodded distractedly. He had cameras everywhere, I knew he would see my response. "Done. Your floor is now deadlocked. Mister Stark has granted you full access, and only asks you stay away from the folder labelled Las Vegas." I rolled my eyes at that, snorting to myself. I reached for my phone to let Nat know the problem, almost crumpling when I remembered where she was.

_Buck up. She's been hurt before._

'Yes, but not this bad.' I snarled at the voice in my head.

_You're right. This time it's your fault._

'Shut up. That's not true.' I snarled again, but weaker.

 _Your fault, your fault._ It taunted, only stopping when I punched a wall. My hand was now throbbing and covered in plaster from the hole in the wall, but the voice had shut up for now.

"Clint?" Tony repeated, waving his hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my daze. "You okay, dude?" his voice was concerned, and I realised that my knuckles were bleeding heavily and I was panting like a crazy person. I opened my mouth to rebuff him, glanced at my computer screen and thought better of it.

"No, actually. Before I say anything, I need you to a, not freak out, and b, not tell ANYONE." I ignored his confused face, stubbornly blocking him from the monitor until he nodded.

"Tell me while I grab something to clean your knuckles, yeah?" he turned away, picking up a glass of water off my desk and going in search of a cloth. Tapping my foot nervously, I couldn't keep silent any longer.

"Tony, we have a HYDRA mole in SHIELD." I blurted, and the sound of glass shattering echoed around the deadlocked room. Tony absently wiped the water off his hand, staring at me in shock.

" _What?"_ he asked, his voice carefully controlled. I didn't bother repeating it, merely gestured towards my computer monitor, where I had a file of all the dodgy recordings. Hastily making his way over to it, he took one look before groaning. "JARVIS, initiate protocol Spook."

"Initiating protocol Spook, sir. Fury has been notified." JARVIS answered. Tony hummed in response, pacing the floor with his head in his hands. At my sharp look, he hastily stopped and reassured me. 

"It's fine, Clint. I built a protocol that quietly sets trackers on everyone in the building and lets Happy know to stay close to Pep. It also lets Fury know to avoid all agents except Coulson and Hill until I give him further information. The mole will never know anything, the code's on JARVIS' private server." He then went into a lengthy explanation about the other precautions built into Spook, but I tuned him out. All I could think of was Nat, alone and vulnerable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who can guess why Clint thinks it's his fault? Hint: It's not his usual, "I should've had her back so it's my fault" reasoning. It's something much, much more.


	8. Cuckoo in the Nest Pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint discovers a mole within SHIELD. When the traitor is confronted, it unleashes devastating consequences.

Evidently, the same thought occurred to Tony. Just then, the lights flickered once, twice, and went out. Tony and I locked eyes, panicked brown on my own distressed green ones.

"Nat!" we cried simultaneously, scrambling to get out the door. It refused to budge, even when I slammed against it with all my strength.

"Damnit!" I swore, kicking the door in frustration, then yelping when I almost broke my toe. Beside me, Tony was also swearing under his breath, trying to think properly.

"It's still deadlocked. If I unlock it, it unlocks every deadlocked floor. We'll have to take the vents, I can unlock them with a special override." Tony babbled, pulling out his phone and rapidly typing something. There was a pause, then the vent covers clicked open above their heads. We both breathed a sigh of relief.

"Tony, you head to Nat and keep her safe. I'll find this son of a bitch and have a little... _talk_ with him." I said grimly and Tony nodded, already dragging a chair beneath the vent cover, pulling himself up in one smooth movement. "Got a gun? Comm?" I checked, following Tony into the small vents. The other man hummed in confirmation, and we exchanged one last look before splitting up.

I was in total stealth mode, moving as silently as possible through the vents towards the control room, where it was likely the traitor was sitting. Of course, if they had access to the cameras then it was pointless, but just in case I breathed quietly and tried not to bang my head on the roof. It didn't take me long to reach the vents above the control room, and true to my suspicion, someone was sitting in Fury's chair. Though they had their back to me and a hoodie obscuring their frame, I was certain they were not Fury. Mainly because Fury was sitting on the floor beside them, tied and gagged with two guns to his head. 

_Thank god for Tony's paranoia._ I thought grimly, quietly typing a message into my watch. It was actually a non-verbal comms device, a bit like a phone except it could also be used to listen into the other person's surroundings. 

_'At control center. Pirate subdued. Three bogeys, Two guns.'_ I sent it to all the Avengers comm devices, hoping fervently someone would be around. I knew Sam and Steve were off base, Loki and Zayla were probably in the library so deep in books they wouldn't emerge for a while and Bucky was somewhere in Russia tracking down an old ally. That only left Bruce and Thor. I wasn't optimistic, as Bruce hated conflict and Thor never checks his comms.

I waited for any replies, carefully watching the traitors gloating to Fury about how smart they were. Just as it was getting ridiculous, Tony replied.

_'With N. Nothing. P's fine. Found B, he'll pull everyone back.'_

I breathed a sigh of relief. We wouldn't be alone for long.

_Time to get this party started._

The leader of the turncoats was currently listing off the whereabouts of all the Avengers, I think he was gloating about picking a day when nobody was around. When he reached my name, I saw Fury's eyes spark with amusement as the man floundered.

"Dear Natalia, in a coma. And Barton is- _where is Barton?_ " he hissed to one of the guards, who shrugged.

"Barton is above you." I gleefully informed him, firing off two quick shots with my pistol straight into the two women guarding Fury. They dropped simultaneously, and in one quick move I rolled out of the vents and stood between the rapidly-reddening man and an outright laughing Fury. "Hello, agent Rumlow. I should've known, honestly. Nobody could be _that_ moronic and pass SHIELD recruitment tests." Rumlow's face took on the sight of an enraged tomato, much to my delight.

"Barton." he hissed from between clenched teeth.

"Keys. Or I start shooting things you really want intact. You may have heard I'm very creative?" I held out one hand, smiling coldly, the other holding my gun steadily aimed at his head. He scowled and reluctantly plucked his keys off his belt and tossed them to me, never breaking eye contact. I dropped them behind me for Fury to uncuff himself, trusting him to manage. Just as I had started to relax, I heard a faint alarm going off. Checking my comm, I saw a message from Tony:

 _'Med bay. Now. Bring help.'_ I read out, frowning and Rumlow grinned, all teeth.

"Power's out, Barton. That means computers, lights and..." he trailed off, waiting for me to figure it out. Behind me, Fury inhaled sharply at the same time my mind caught up.

"Life support machines." I came to the sudden realisation, paling in horror. "You _son of a bitch_." I snarled, shooting him in the legs and causing him to scream. Tackling him to the ground, I quickly searched his mouth for the cyanide pill I knew was there. Finding and yanking it out, I tossed it away and punched him _hard._ He groaned, blood trickling from his mouth and his legs. There was _so much more_ I wanted to do, but I was running out of time.

"I'll deal with him, Barton. Go to Romanoff." Fury's deep voice came from behind me, and I tossed my gun over my shoulder and bolted back into the vents. I have never crawled faster in my life, not caring about the noise I made. I had to get to Tony.

I reached the med bay within minutes, ripping the vent cover open and falling straight into Nat's room. The sight that greeted me was horrifying. Tony had wires plugged into his arc reactor, powering Nat's machines. She was stable. He was not.

"Clint. Wires... cut. Can't turn... power... back on..." he wheezed, his face pale and beading sweat. The machines were sucking power meant to keep him alive, and he wasn't going to last much longer.

"Shit! Okay, just hang on. You have a spare reactor, right? I'll tell Bruce to grab it. We can use the spare to power Nat's machines. You'll be okay, Tones." I soothed, rapidly typing a message to Bruce through my comm watch. I received a confirmation, and turned my attention back to Tony. "Tony, stay awake. Bruce is coming." I shook him lightly, and he groaned.

"Tell... Pep... I'm sorry that," he swallowed laboriously before continuing, "that she has to raise the kid alone." I winced, realising what he meant.

_Pepper was pregnant. Oh, Tony._

"Tony, hey hey, stay with me. You're gonna be there for the kid, I promise. Just hang on another minute." I begged, cursing silently. Just as his eyes slipped shut, Bruce burst into the room and shoved me out of the way, furiously detangling the wires from Tony's trembling chest and plugging them into the spare reactor. My shoulder throbbed momentarily as the machines shut down, then they restarted and it eased off. I sighed in relief, glancing at my partner. She was lying so _still_ , so weak. It broke my heart.

**Three Hours Later:**

Tony was in a medical bed, resting while the reactor repaired the damage done. His eyes were closed when I walked in, but they fluttered open as I neared.

"Hey, Tony." I greeted him hesitantly, unsure how much he remembered telling me. "How are you feeling?"

"Like something steam rollered over my chest." he chuckled, then coughed painfully. I winced, and he waved his hand at me. "I'll be fine, Clint. Been through worse. Speaking of which, can you... not tell anyone about what I thought my last words were? We only found out last week." he muttered, glancing at me quickly. I nodded reassuringly.

"'Course, Tones. Congratulations. I'm going to go assist the others in weeding out the other traitors." With that, I turned and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in two days, woohoo!


	9. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traitors are rounded up, injuries are treated and systems fixed. Daisy and May have a heart-to-heart. But in the chaos, someone disappears. How long will it take everyone to notice that something is seriously wrong? And why does Clint think the whole thing is his fault?

**~~3RD PERSON POV~~**

One of the first things Clint did when the power was restored was call an emergency Avengers meeting. The helicarrier was in chaos; when the power went out HYDRA agents had revealed themselves and attacked the unsuspecting SHIELD agents, so Clint was giving everyone jobs.

"Sam, I need you and the FitzSimmons to help with the injured. I know you're not that type of doctor, but you guys should know enough to help." he directed the last part at Jemma and Leo, who were standing close together by the door of the meeting room. The flighty scientists nodded, gripping each others' hands tightly.

Steve, Bucky, Thor, Triplett and Coulson were finding the rogues, Tony and Bruce were tasked with checking the systems, while Daisy and May stood guard on Natasha. There was a buddy system in action, nobody went anywhere alone until every HYDRA agent had been rounded up. Clint would stay in the control room with Fury, guarding _(_ _read: punching the ever living shit out of)_ Rumlow. 

The room was filled with the sound of guns being loaded and checked and knives being sheathed as everyone filed out to do their part. Eventually, it was just Hill, Fury, Rumlow, Clint, Sam, FitzSimmons and a handful of junior agents standing around. 

"Well? Get to it!" Fury barked at the younger agents, causing them to jump with fright and scramble to do something, anything.

**~~TONY AND BRUCE~~**

"JARVIS, I want the Helicarrier on double lockdown. Nobody leaves, nobody enters. That includes all senior agents with the exception of Fury, Hill and Coulson. Lockdown all SHIELD bases we have access to, same conditions. Do it subtly, in case any HYDRA agents have control of the base. Send Happy a text, tell him to take Pepper to safe house Rose, and don't let anyone in except me. And I want extra alerts on all Avengers." Tony said all of this in one breath, leaving Bruce to stare at him in amazement.

"Tones, breathe. Seriously. You were in a hospital bed less than an hour ago." Bruce frowned, and Tony turned to him, panic stricken.

"Doesn't matter. I need to keep Pepper safe. As soon as the systems are checked, I'm headed to her and I'm not leaving. Not for another nine months." he announced off-handedly, and Bruce choked on air.

"Ni- nine months? Are you saying-" he stammered, and Tony nodded.

"Pep's pregnant. If HYDRA finds out, she'll be one of the most wanted women on the planet solely for the kid. It's going to be one hell of a good-looking kid, Brucie." Tony joked, but Bruce could hear the terror in his voice. Tony was scared, and Bruce didn't blame him. If HYDRA had Iron Man's kid, it was game over.

"Anyway. Don't tell anyone. Clint knows. Not ready for anyone else to. Especially not with, well-" Tony gestured around, "this. Moving on. I need you to..." They continued to talk science, studiously avoiding the massive "elephant" in the room.

**~~DAISY AND MAY~~**

The second the alarms had gone off, May's thoughts had gone straight to Nat. Her oldest friend, aside from Coulson, was all alone and unable to defend herself. It was only the screams of her fellow agents preventing her from running straight to Nat, and instead focusing on getting to the control room. But now, sitting by Nat's still form, it came crashing down just how close she came to losing her. Daisy seemed to know what she was thinking, because she reached out and lightly squeezed May's shoulder comfortingly.

"She'll wake up, you know. She's the Black Widow, for god's sake!" Daisy attempted to make May smile, but it didn't work. Sighing, Daisy moved closer to the older agent. "May, she's gonna wake up. And when she does, we can all yell at her for slipping up and getting caught, but until then we need to focus on stopping HYDRA, or it will be Coulson or Fury or you on that bed next. And SHIELD needs you. You three are our best leaders. So focus on protecting ourselves, Nat's not going anywhere. Tony's technology has made sure of that." Daisy murmured, and May nodded reluctantly.

"You're right, Dais. It's just hard." she whispered, and Daisy nodded. They sat in silence for the remainder of their shift.

**~~STEVE, BUCKY, THOR, TRIPLETT AND COULSON~~**

"Jesus-" _bonk_ "-Fucking-" _bonk_ "-CHRIST-" _BONK_ "I hate today!" Bucky yelled, slamming a rogue's head into the steel wall for emphasis. "Could it get any worse?" he growled, dropping his current opponent and grabbing the next one by the collar. Steve sighed wearily.

"First of all, language. Second of all, _please_ don't say that." he groaned. Coulson snickered from over by a set of steel doors, where he was systematically breaking every limb on a pair of HYDRA agents. 

"Told you, Trip." he yelled over the screams. Triplett laughed, pausing his own limb-snapping to grin at a pissed-looking Bucky.

"Maybe Stevie could help some of that rage, Buckster!" he giggled, and Bucky burst out laughing.

"Nah, I prefer hot, beefy gods over reckless, overconfident super soldiers." he bantered back, glancing at the sweaty god currently playing ping pong with Mjolnir and three rogues. Coulson busted up, actually forgetting to block a hit from a sort-of conscious agent. Steve let out a strangled yelp.

"I'm _right here!_ " he yelled, insulted, and threw his shield at more incoming traitors. The rebound narrowly missed Thor's head, and he began laughing too.

"I'm flattered, Barnes." he chuckled, and Steve grew even sulkier.

"What is this, a circus? Quit laughing and start hitting!" he pouted, causing everyone to break into fresh rounds of laughter.

**~~3RD PERSON POV - CLINT & SAM~~**

"I _told_ you that helping the Sparrow would bring nothing but trouble!" Hill hissed at Clint, and his whole body went cold.

"Her name's Zayla, Hill." he answered absently, his mind whirling. Now that he thought about it, the room was missing two distinct members. Dimly, he heard Rumlow laugh until Fury socked him in the mouth, shutting him up.

"Uhh, guys?" Clint swallowed, trying to keep his voice steady for the junior agents in the room. The agents still present turned to him immediately, confused. Clint locked eyes with Sam, and he saw realisation, then panic, dawn on Sam's face.

"Where's Zayla?" Sam finished, already loading his gun.

" _Fucking shit. Shit, SHIT!"_ Clint swore violently, causing some of the junior agents to pale and back away from the violent man. Jemma suddenly gasped, whispering in Leo's ear, who turned as white as a sheet. Rumlow spat blood, before continuing to laugh. Clint walked up to him, kicking him in the head until he fell, unconscious. Hill opened her mouth to chastise him, but Clint beat her to it.

"Don't. Start." he snarled through gritted teeth, storming out of the room with a murderous look. There were three words reverberating through his head as he left behind the stunned agents.

_All my fault._

Sam hesitated, about to follow him, before Fury gave him a murderous look of his own.

"Don't you dare. Go help the doctors, like you were ordered." Fury growled, but his eyes held a hint of sympathy. Sam sighed, grabbing a first-aid kit and following Jemma and Leo into the chaos.

**~~SOMEWHERE~~**

Meanwhile, Zayla groaned and opened her eyes. "Ow. What- huh?" she grumbled, shifting on the hard floor. "Loki?" she pushed herself onto her elbows, glancing around blearily, but her head ached too much to make sense of anything. "Loki?" she became more awake with each passing second, beginning to panic. "LOKI!" Zayla screamed, but the room echoed in silence. "No...no..." she sobbed, slowly slumping to the floor and back into unconsciousness. And still, silence.


	10. Birdcage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Zayla Centric. Zayla comes face to face with her long-lost sister.  
> Hughes seems to know something Zayla doesn't, and delights in teasing  
> her about it.
> 
> Mild torture.

~~Zayla's POV~~

  
The next time I opened my eyes, my head was pounding even harder, my vision was blurry and I could  
feel something burning on my collarbone. It was a strange kind of burning, like a mosquito bite on top of a bruise   
had been set on fire. Before I could puzzle over what was causing it however, my eyes were flooded with harsh   
white light, and I shielded my eyes with my hands, noting that they weren't bound.

_That's... odd._

  
When I could bear the light, I took in my surroundings. I was lying alone on a cold concrete floor in what seemed to be   
a holding cell of some kind. The walls were a bright red flecked with darker brown spots, and I realised with a shudder   
that the spots were dried blood. Peering closer, I saw that there were brown spots on the floor as well. Just as I was starting   
to panic, a loud bang echoed from somewhere close by, and I instinctively retreated to the corner, raising my hands in an   
attempt to protect myself. Footsteps began to echo, coming closer and closer. Finally, a hidden door slammed open, and a   
figure stood in the doorway, leering at me.

  
"Well, well. If it isn't my darling sister. How I've missed you!" I groaned at the familiar voice.   
"Oh, _come on_. That's the _second_ time I've killed you. Will you _please_ die already." I growled, rolling my eyes.  
My sister laughed without humor, her face twisted in an ugly grin.  
"Now, don't be like that. What would mother say?" Hughes taunted me, and I sighed.  
"You know damn well she'd buy me an ice cream to celebrate. What do you want?" I wasn't in the mood for games.  
"Feisty. Very well, let's get started. How's dear Natasha?" Now, _that_ I reacted to. I growled and lunged for her, only   
to meet with an invisible forcefield and crash to the ground. "Ooh, sore spot, huh? I'd say sorry, but I'm not. You  
know, since you _killed my soulmate_." her voice turned bitter, and I winced internally.

Well, that answers _that_ question.

  
"Like I've been telling you for the past _six years_ , I _didn't know_ he was the target." It was like talking to a brick wall.  
"Yeahhhhhhh..." she drawled, "but here's the thing. He's still dead. And your soulmates are still alive. That's hardly  
fair, is it? Which is why I'm going to fix that today. One of them, anyway." I frowned at her gloating tone. Neither of  
my marks were burning, so she hadto be bluffing...

_Right?_

"Oh, this is perfect!" she chuckled with delight. "You have _no idea_ what I'm talking about!" she grinned, taunting me.  
"Know _what_." I snarled, and she tutted, smirking.  
"Nuh-uh. I think I'll let you stew on that for a while." With that, Hughes turned and walked away, closing the door behind her.  
I was thrown into darkness again.

~~Loki's POV~~

"Wake up, Silvertongue. Time to begin!" I was woken by a harsh slap to my cheek, as I warily opened my eyes. I was sitting  
on a concrete floor, my hands on either side of me and my legs splayed out uncomfortably. I recognised Zayla's sister,  
Commander Hughes, from the descriptions she'd given me. Speaking of which, _where was Zayla?_ I began trying to remember  
what happened, only to be met with a dull pain in my head. Groaning, I realised Hughes was still talking.   
"We have _so_ much planned for you." her voice was grating in my ears, and I tried to block them, only to realise that my  
hands were cuffed tightly to the wall. I tugged them hard, and only succeeded in bloodying my wrists.  
"What the hell?" I snarled, trying to summon my magic. A tiny green glow surrounded my body and fizzled out. "Why can't  
I do magic?" my voice became more frantic, and I pulled at the cuffs again. Hughes laughed, standing just out of reach.  
"About that... did you know, Vibranium makes an excellent magic conductor? Specifically, carrying it _away_ from you."   
My face paled in realisation.

No.

_No._

"No! You _bitch!_ I'll kill you!" I yelled, thrashing desperately. My magic was all that kept me immortal, without it all my  
years would catch up to me and I would die. As if she could read my mind, Hughes laughed again.  
"Don't worry, Silvertongue. We'll leave enough to keep you alive indefinitely, chained up and alone, while we use your   
magic to do amazing things. Now, I have an appointment with your little songbird." she grinned, her voice cruel.  
Rather than continue to gloat, Hughes turned around and abruptly left, darkening the cold room behind her. 

Songbird... _Zayla._

I paled in realisation, renewing my efforts to escape. The vibranium cuffs were unyielding, and I eventually gave up,  
sinking down into my own thoughts. I was left alone with my bloody wrists, a pounding headache and a strange burning  
on my collarbone.

As the cold set in, I shuddered, already dreading the days to come. How long would I be here?  
Months? Years? Decades? How long before I was found?

Would anyone even look?


	11. Hell and Highwater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint's relentless search for Zayla and Loki involves 54 hours straight of no sleep, forcing Coulson to step in.  
> It is finally revealed why Clint feels responsible for Zayla's disappearance.

**~~3RD PERSON POV~~**

Clint began his vigil by the computer at 3pm on a Thursday.

By the 14th hour, Clint had combed through days' worth of footage involving Rumlow and his collaborators.

By the 23rd, he'd called in Tony, Bruce and Bucky to help sift through the growing pile of footage and phone records involving the traitors.

By the 34th hour, Bruce gave up and went to bed. Bucky followed him an hour later.

In hour 36, Clint forced Tony to teach him how to work with JARVIS to analyse data.

In hour 38, he'd broken three tables and a chair out of pure frustration.

By the 39th, even Tony had gone to bed.

Between hour 42 and 45, Clint had put four junior and three senior agents in medbay.

In his defense, they snuck up on him and tried to sedate him.

By the 47th hour, the table count was up to four, the chair count was up to five, and Fury attempted to intervene. 

He had a sixth chair thrown at his head.

Clint was left alone after that.

By hour 50, everything was fuzzy and he was _so tired_ but Clint refused to stop. 

By hour 52, his speech was slurred and his legs jelly but still, Clint refused to stop.

It was 9pm on a Saturday before Coulson finally stepped in.

**~~1ST PERSON POV - CLINT~~**

"Clint. Clint! Look-me-time-stop." Through the haze in my head, I dimly heard broken parts of a sentence.  
Ignoring it, I continued the never-ending scroll through telephone records, surveillance footage, mission transcripts,  
searching for anything to give me a clue as to where they'd taken my friend.

There was nothing.

I was jolted out of my miserable searching by the voice again, calling my name.  
"Clint." I felt a sharp sting in my neck, causing me to spring out of my chair and cast around wildly for my assailant.  
Squinting through the blurriness, I saw a familiar face standing in front of me, hands out reassuringly. The left one  
held an empty needle.

_Fuck._

"Clint, hey, it's me. Time to sleep, buddy. C'mon." Coulson reached out for me, but I clumsily pushed him away, legs buckling  
as I grabbed my chair. I could feel the sedative shutting my body now, darkening my vision.  
"No. My fault. Keep... going." I insisted, fighting my body. "Have...to...find....her." I slumped to the floor, legs finally giving out.  
"Please. Please..." I begged my oldest friend, desperately trying to get up again. I felt him gently push me to the floor.  
"Stop fighting, Clint. Time to rest." Coulson sighed, his face fading in and out as my eyes closed against my will and I slept.

**~~Timeskip~~**

The next time I opened my eyes, I was lying in a hospital bed. I could feel the needle in the crook of my left arm, and my neck was  
aching from Coulson jamming a needle straight into the muscle. The man himself was sitting to my right, eyes closed and head back  
like he was sleeping. Carefully, I reached for my IV to pull it out. My hand had barely begun to move when he grabbed my wrist in a  
steely grip.

"Don't you dare." he growled, eyes still closed. I sighed in frustration, banging my head back on my pillow, groaning when it only  
agitated my headache.  
"I'm fine, Phil. Let me go. I need to find Zayla." Phil chuckled without humour.  
"Tell that to the seven injured agents, six chairs, three tables-"  
"Four." I interrupted him, slightly proud. He glared.  
"-and three traumatised lab assistants-" he listed off dryly, and I groaned again when I thought of the yelling Bruce was  
going to give me later.  
"- _Not_ to mention the fact you threw a chair at Fury's head and called him a 'bossy, irritatingly vague pirate who has secrets up  
to _and in_ his eyepatch', which is... creative." Phil continued, ignoring my misery. I couldn't help the grin that spread across my  
face when I remembered Fury's face turning purple, which only increased the intensity of his glare.  
"Now. Mind telling me _what the hell was going through your head, Clinton Francis Barton._ " Coulson's face reddened to that of a tomato, and  
I winced. 

"It's my fault." I mumbled, looking down. "Excuse me?" Coulson prompted, voice sarcastic. I sighed.  
"It's my fault, Phil. All of it." I dropped all pretense of humour, feeling my body sag into the mattress. Phil frowned, looking at me expectantly.  
I let out one final sigh, before finally telling him. "Remember that mission in Budapest?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhangerrrrrrrr


	12. Hell and Highwater Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint admits his secret.

"Yes, I remember the time an entire building collapsed on top of you." Phil's tone held no real sting, only a gentle rebuke.  
"It was that mission where you assassinated the ringleader of a child-smuggling ring. I seem to recall Nat disagreed with Fury's call.  
You never did tell me why." Phil looked at me, and I nodded.  
"It was the first real fight we had. She disagreed with Fury hiring an escort to distract the target. She thought it would put the escort  
in unnecessary danger. She also didn't trust our informant, said something didn't 'add up'. I ignored her, used the escort and put a  
bullet through the man's head." I bowed my head, images from that night flashing through my mind. "Do you remember what the  
escort looked like, Phil? If you had to pick, which of the Avengers would she have looked like most?" I knew my words seemed like  
an abrupt subject change, but it was all connected. I had only started putting together the pieces a few weeks ago.

"Well, she had brown hair, and I don't know her eyes since she wore contacts..." Phil looked puzzled. I nodded for him to continue.  
He paused for a moment to think, scratching his arm absently. "She was about Zayla's height... same build, come to think of it.  
I also recall that she gave her name as May. Hey, isn't that Zayla's middle na-"

I looked at him. His face went white.

"Oh _._ " his voice went soft.

There we go.

"So the man you killed was..." I could see the gears turning in Phil's head, as he slowly saw the big picture.  
"Commander Hughes' ally." I finished Phil's sentence. "This whole thing is my fault. Zayla's kidnapping,  
all the agents killed or injured at the Miami and Moroccan bases, Nat's injuries..." my voice wobbled as I said  
my partner's name. "If I had just _listened_ to her, none of us would be in this mess." Coulson nodded his head  
in agreement, and my stomach plummeted. 

_He agrees with me._

"Zayla would never have met the Avengers. She would never have become a SHIELD agent. You and Nat would've  
died a thousand times over. Countless lives would have been lost. Zayla would never have met you and Tasha, which  
is bittersweet. Loki would not have become an Avenger, Thor would've started spending more of his time in Asgard  
and without Thor, we might very well have all died during HYDRA's reveal. So yeah, Clint, it's all your fault. Congratulations."  
His voice was sarcastic, but not cruelly so. Reaching for my hand, he squeezed it tightly, a kind smile on his face.

"Clint, you need to let go. You followed orders, that's all. Pin it on Fury, if you have to." he tried to reassure me, but I shook  
my head obstinately.

"No. The blood is on my hands alone. I pulled the trigger, I pay the price." I growled stubbornly, and he groaned in frustration.

"You pulled that trigger _years ago,_ Clint! If you're going to blame someone, blame Hughes! It's her fault that her soulmate was  
blamed." Phil realised what he said and slammed his mouth shut. I went pale, a distant roaring in my ears.

_Soulmate?_

_Jesus fucking CHRIST._

_"Soulmate?_ I thought he was her ALLY!" I gasped, scrambling to get up. "Fury told me he was her ally! _Son of a bitch_. How long  
have you known?" Coulson's silence told me everything. "You _bastard_. I hated Hughes for hurting Nat, thought she did it because  
she was a sadistic bitch! Instead, she's doing what _anyone_ would do." I finally managed to pull the IV out of my arm, ripping the  
blankets off me and leaping out of bed. Phil made no move to stop me, just staring at me with sad grey eyes.

"Clint..." he said weakly, but I interrupted him.

"I'm going to find Zayla and Loki without you, I'm going to apologise to Hughes without you, and I'm going to get Nat back. _Without you.  
_ I'll make this _right_ , goddamnit." With that, I stormed out of the room, leaving my oldest friend behind.

_I'll find you, Zayla. Come hell and highwater._


End file.
